My new favorite site is fonejacker.tv, the home of a linguistically talented comedian who gets it right every time.

Originally shown as part of the 2006 Comedy Lab Season and following it up with an alternative Christmas message on E4, Fonejacker has been described as having “the rare alchemy of a brilliantly versatile character comedian at heart, a staggering amount of superb concepts and stylish execution to make it a brash and daring brand new comedy.”

‘Steamed and Pressed’

Wikipedia has a great collection of this year’s April Fools jokes in jolly cyber land.
My favorites are:

1. Google Romance

They “released” a fake online dating service with a very funny tutorial to get you started.

The best comedy is in the ‘help section’ though:

What is Contextual Dating?
It’s a free date plus the added accrued value of the past decade’s worth of post-Industrial Age online marketing genius, all tied into a real-time, video-based, GPS-tracked, psychographically astute and environmentally pervasive promotional system.

7. Come again?
You see ads that might make your date better.

8. Such as?
Flowers. Music. Personal advice. E-greetings. Later on, depending on how our long-term opt-out natural-language-based monitoring system thinks things are going, personalized thank you notes, romantic getaway offers, various intimate pharmaceutical come-ons, engagement and bridal wear catalogs – you know the drill.

2. NBC Public Service Ads

NBC ran some Public service announcements in the style of the “The More You Know” campaign, done by cast members of “The Office“, while in character. An example by Dwight Schrute:

“Black bears weigh between 2 and 500 pounds. Brown bears weigh between 300 and over a thousand pounds. Black bears run away from you. Brown bears run at you. When attacked by a bear, simply lie still on the ground and cover your face and head with your hands. When the bear’s finished batting you around and mauling you, contact the U.S. Forest Service.” [video here]

More of these PSAs are posted on NBC’s web site.

3. Carbon Devouring Mammal Discovered

A remarkable new animal was discovered in Viet Nam recently by Dr. Alexander McKenzie, a biologist at the Woody Hole Terragraphic Institute. The small mammal seems to be able to consume most kinds of organic matter, and somehow combines it with carbon dioxide from the air, to produce fecal pellets of limestone. Dr. McKenzie thinks that perhaps by ranching these animals in large numbers, enough CO2 could be absorbed to have a meaningful effect on global warming. Dr. McKenzie is now searching for more of the animals having inadvertantly consumed the only one he’s found so far.

On the extensive Wikipedia collection, there’s also a list of events on April 1st that were incorrectly assumed to be pranks.

Remember those away message I use to have more prominent on the site? I found them again, and threw them in a Wiki… which means that you can add your own favorite away messages. Click here to see them all, and add your own by editing the original page.

Here’s a favorite. I’ve found it quoted on other websites (with thanks to moneydick.com) by people who’ve thought it was an original creation. It’s actually lyrics from a Dead Kennedy’s song:

I go to college
That makes me so cool
I live in a dorm
And show off by the pool

I join the right clubs
Just to build an impression
I block out thinking
It won’t get me ahead

My ambition in life
Is to look good on paper
All I want is a slot
In some big corporation

John Belushi’s my hero
I lampoon and I ape him
My news of the world
Comes from Sports Illustrated

I’m proud of my trophies
Like my empty beer cans
Stacked in rows up the wall
To impress all my friends

No, I’m not here to learn
I just want to get drunk
And major in business
And be taught how to fuck

Win! Win!
I always play to win
Wanna fit in like a cog
In the faceless machine

I’m a terminal terminal terminal preppie

–murphboy900

the song continues:

Terminal terminal terminal preppie
Terminal terminal terminal terminal
Terminal terminal terminal terminal
I want a wife with tits
Who just smiles all the time,
In my centerfold world
Filled with Springsteen and wine!
Some day I’ll have power,
Some day I’ll have boats.
And a tract in some suburb,
With Thanksgivings to host!

SPECIAL CONTENT place If you ever watched full house, check out this dramatic realization of the man known as Bob Saget. There’s but a few short video clips, but I hope it will break the mental picture you have of him. BREAK IT TO PIECES!!
Lyrics!

“…he’s fucked up. sometimes the show wasn’t that funny, fuck you, made lots of money. But I gave half to my ex-wife anyway. Woulda been cheaper if I had been gay. Tell me why some people call me faggot. Tell me why, maybe because my last name’s Saget. I changed it it used to be Somosexual. Tell me why, I sucked dick for coke, but that’s ok. Danny Tanner was not gay. Danny tanner was not gay… like Dave Coulier.”

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