The National Association of Staredown Professionals

I stumbled across what I thought was a joke feature film showcasing the sport of ‘staredown.’ You know…. gazing dreamily into someone’s eyes until they blink. I figured it was like making a feature film about the IACJ (the International Association of Cat Jugglers). But as it turns out the NASP is a real organization with a genuine rule book. And olympics-like drug restrictions (though you can use eyedrops before a match).

Here’s a quote from the rule book:

B. The Match
i. Staredown does not have a time limit. A match will continue until a winner is determined.
ii. Competitors may not smile during a match. Smiling or laughing is grounds for immediate disqualification.
iii. There are not time-outs in Staredown and no stoppages in play are allowed.
iv. Sneezing and coughing are strictly forbidden.
 iv.1.If a competitor sneezes/coughs on another player he/she is disqualified.
 iv.2.If a competitor turns away to sneeze/cough he/she will be disqualified.

v. Burping is strictly forbidden. A competitor who burps (intentionally or unintentionally) will be disqualified.
vi. Spitting is strictly forbidden. Any competitor who spits in the face of another competitor will immediately be banned from participating in any NASP sactioned event.

So check out ‘Unflinching Triumph.’ A full length completely online film. It seems like a drawn out SNL skit. The people and their issues just don’t seem real.

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