Job Assistance at Vassar

More dispatches from the Vassar life…. (50 days till the real world)

Sometimes I feel like our Career Development Office is woefully insensitive to the average Vassar student’s sentiments towards corporate culture and greed. Just got this email:

But that’s what kids want, right? Money money yum yum. I want to write them an email back:

 

We wanna stay in our tower, but we also wanna help people. But we don’t want to work for money. But we need money. And we want to live in nice places like Brooklyn, but we want independence. Conundrums approaching, resolution questionable…

The Dead Kennedy’s say it better: in “Terminal Preppie” (mp3)

I go to college
That makes me so cool
I live in a dorm
And show off by the pool 

I join the right clubs
Just to build an impression
I block out thinking
It won’t get me ahead 

My ambition in life
Is to look good on paper
All I want is a slot
In some big corporation 

John Belushi’s my hero
I lampoon and I ape him
My news of the world
Comes from Sports Illustrated 

I’m proud of my trophies
Like my empty beer cans
Stacked in rows up the wall
To impress all my friends 

No, I’m not here to learn
I just want to get drunk
And major in business
And be taught how to fuck 

Win! Win!
I always play to win
Wanna fit in like a cog
In the faceless machine 

[Chorus]
I’m a terminal terminal terminal preppie
terminal terminal terminal preppie
terminal terminal terminal terminal
terminal terminal terminal terminal 

I want a wife with tits
Who just smiles all the time
In my centerfold world
Filled with Springsteen and wine 

Some day I’ll have power
Some day I’ll have boats
A tract in some suburb
With Thanksgivings to host 

[Chorus]
I’m a terminal terminal terminal preppie
terminal terminal terminal preppie
terminal terminal terminal preppie